Making mommy friends is difficult. It’s hard to meet people initially, difficult to stay in touch and then a challenge to nurture those relationships. We’re all busy with kids, working, taking care of our homes etc but finding other mom friends to relate to and feel connected with is really important for our own sanity and for our kids.
According to studies, our feelings of loneliness and isolation are increasing. Loneliness can unfortunately lead to depression and start a vicious cycle. Chronic feelings of being alone can also lead to increased odds of an early death.
In my day job, I teach a workshop on developing client and community relationships for law students. One of the first issues we discuss is how to make a good impression on others and how to properly relate to those around us.
Based on all the research I put together for the workshop, I’ve come up with a few helpful tips on how to feel more confident in social situations and make a strong first impression. These tips will hopefully lead to increasing your mommy connections and reducing any loneliness you may feel. Who knows, you may find your new BFF!
11 Tips for Making Mommy Friends
Make Eye Contact
When you first meet someone, make eye contact. I’m not talking about creepy stares, but a nice acknowledgment is best. I know this sounds cheesy, but try to smile with your eyes. It adds warmth and and makes you more approachable.
Pay Attention to the People you’re Speaking to
Please, please, please just put down the phone! Unless it’s an emergency, your attention should be on the person you’re meeting.
I totally understand how challenging it can be if you’re trying to talk to someone and watch your kids at the same time. If this is an issue for you, just try to pay as much attention as possible to your new friend and try to get back on topic as soon as you can.
We often have a lot more in common with others than we may think. For example, at the park – you’re likely both moms, live in the same area and value outdoor play. Any of these similarities can be an ice breaker and lead to a conversation.
No one enjoys hanging around a super negative Nelly. I know there are times with things are rough and we can feel really down, but if you’re trying to make new friends and meet new people, then try to have a positive attitude.
Rather than looking to the negative, try to think about the good things that are happening.
Check out –> Why is it so Difficult to put Myself First?
Be Open, Friendly and Inclusive
Being open, friendly and inclusive goes with being positive. If you’re smiling and have positive body language people will be attracted to you and want to speak with you. When you’re standing around, try not to cross your arms in front of you and make yourself approachable. You are with your kids after all and that is fun!
Use a Host Mindset
I’m referring to the way we act when we have guests at our homes. We’re not typically shy/reserved or standoffish. I don’t know about you but I try to be open, welcoming and warm. Try thinking of yourself as the host of an event the next time you’re at one and see if that changes the way you act towards others.
Give others a Chance to Speak
If a conversation is one sided (you’re the only one talking), then it’s not really a conversation is it? It’s fun and exciting to learn more about others and hear their perspectives on different things. If you don’t give others an opportunity to speak, then you’ll never know what they have to say.
Be a Good Listener
This tip goes with the idea of letting others speak. As a mom, we all have lots going on and it can be hard to slow down and just listen to what other people say without making a judgment or interrupting. When you pay attention to friends and have real conversations your friends will value that and keep those great conversations flowing.
Please see –> 39 Self Care Ideas for my 39th Birthday
Another key to making mommy friends is being authentic. You’re an awesome and cool person don’t ever forget it! This authenticity and kindness will bring similar people to you.
Try Your Best to Remember People’s Names
I can tell you that I really struggle with this one. Whenever I’m meeting new people I have a hard time remembering names. I try my best that’s for sure but sometimes it doesn’t work.
If I have trouble I just apologize and ask them their name a second time. Another helpful tip if you forget is to introduce someone you know using their name and the other person will often say who they are as well.
Do you have any tips on making mommy friends? I’d love to read them in the comments.